Unjustly Accused of Abuse?
Your change can help bring about change.
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If Your Man Knew What to Say, Here’s What He Might Say If He Knew You Feared His Potential For Violence...
Excerpted from Warren Farrell's Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say.
(Permission to reprint granted by Warren Farrell.)
See www.warrenfarrell.com
and
www.warrenfarrell.info.
Exactly How Do Husbands and Wives Abuse Each Other?
Exactly what do husbands and wives do to abuse each other? The most recent scientific national study analyzes violence according to the level of severity by using an updated version of the Conflict Tactics Scale, which has become by far the most acceptable measure in the field. Throughout this chapter, when I refer to severe violence, I am talking about items
four
through
nine
below:
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How Husbands and Wives Abuse Each Other*
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Types of Violence
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Husband-to-Wife
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Wife-to-Husband
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A. Minor Violent Acts
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1. Threw something
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4.1%
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7.4%
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2. Pushed/grabbed/shoved
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10.4
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10.9
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3. Slapped
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2.6
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3.8
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B. Severe Violent Acts
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4. Kicked/bit/hit with fist
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1.3
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3.4
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5. Hit, tried to hit with something
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1.6
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2.8
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6. Beat up
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0.8
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0.6
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7. Choked
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0.8
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0.6
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8. Threatened with knife or gun
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0.4
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0.7
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9. Used knife or gun
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0.2
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0.1
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Number of cases: 1970
Example: “4.1% of husbands threw something at their wives; 7.4% of wives threw something at their husbands.”
* Source: 1992 National Alcohol and Family Violence Survey, based on a nationwide probability sample of 1970 cases (with a 4X Hispanic over-sample and the data weighted accordingly) conducted by Dr. Glenda Kaufman Kantor of the Family Research Lab (University of New Hampshire). Data printout provided by Dr. Jana L. Jasinski (New Hampshire: Family Research Laboratory, July 8, 1996).
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Once we get to couples who are not college students, findings of other large studies are fairly reflective of this one. Many, though, show a much greater propensity for women to engage in severe violence. For example, in a national sample of men and women dating, women were five times more likely to be severely violent.23 Women were more likely to be more violent in the more-involved relationships, as their emotions got invested.24
23
Jan E. Stets and Debra A. Henderson, “Contextual Factors Surrounding a Conflict Resolution While Dating: Results from a National Study,” Family Relations, Vol. 40, January, 1991, pp. 29-36.
24
Mary Riege Laner and Jeanine Thompson, “Abuse and Aggression in Courting Couples,” Deviant Behavior, Vol. 3, 1982, pp. 229-244. In “more-involved” dating relationships, higher percentages of women slapped, scratched, and grabbed (23% vs. 11%); punched or kicked (5.5% vs. 4%); and hit with a hard object (0.5% vs. 0%) than in the less-involved relationships.
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