RADAR ALERT:
Everett Herald Turns Valentine’s into a Day of Violence and Fear

Contact the Everett (WA) Herald and tell them:

1. J ulie Muhlstein’s "Dark Side of Love" represents a highly biased and sensationalized portrayal of domestic violence which ignores the 510 men who are killed by their girlfriends and wives every year: www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/ipv.pdf
    
2. The article makes repeated statements that are demonstrably false, e.g., “Pregnancy is the second most likely time violent crime will happen.” In fact, many experts believe pregnant women are less likely to suffer from violence: http://slate.msn.com/id/2111390
    
3. The article is an obvious effort to malign men and to frighten women.
    
4. The editors at the Everett Herald need to start doing some fact-checking, and stop accepting the claims of domestic violence advocates at face value.

Here's the contact information:

1. Executive Editor: Stan Strick

Email: strick@heraldnet.com

                        Telephone: 425-339-3000

2. Reporter Julie Muhlstein:

Email: muhlsteinjulie@heraldnet.com

Phone: 425-339-3460

3. Letters to the Editor:

Email: letters@heraldnet.com

Snail mail:

Letters to the Editor

The Daily Herald Company

PO Box 960

Everett, WA 98206

(Include your name, address, and daytime telephone number)

Please mention you are contacting the Herald in response to a RADAR Alert.

Fifteen years of this sort of distorted reporting has produced the unfair DV policies we have in place today.  It's time we demand that reporters and editors live up to their high-minded statements of ethical principles.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION

In recent years domestic violence advocates have attempted to hijack Valentine’s Day, and turn a day devoted to love into a day consumed by fear. Julie Muhlstein's January 23 article in the Everett (Washington) Herald is a perfect example. Her article, "The Dark Side of Love" is filled with distortions and sensationalistic journalism. 

The article implies that Valentine's Day is a particularly dangerous time for women. That's false! An Indiana University study recently found that Valentine's Day is the one holiday when violence decreases: http://newsinfo.iu.edu/news/page/normal/977.html

The dark side of love can turn joy into danger and heartbreak

By Julie Muhlstein
Herald columnist

http://heraldnet.com/stories/05/01/23/100loc_julie001.cfm

Hearts and cupids, hugs and kisses - the symbols of romance are everywhere as Valentine's Day draws near. Amid all the flowery greeting cards, there is no sign of love's dark underside.

More often than we'd ever want to admit, love - or what passes for love - goes hand-in-hand with danger.

Imagine all the terrible stories we'll never know about, when those we do know about are too numerous to list. Names from near and far are reminder enough of a lethal blend of violence and wrong-headed love.

Laci Peterson, Rachel Burkheimer, Crystal Brame - they died at the hands of men with nothing in common but brutality. A father-to-be, lowlife criminals, a police chief, killers all.

In May 2004, 18-year-old Dayna Fure, a Stanwood High School senior, was shot to death by former boyfriend Mario Valentin, 23, who then killed himself. Fure had a protection order against Valentin, but it didn't save her.

There was mourning again last week as family and friends of 15-year-old Elaine Sepulveda attended her memorial service in Oak Harbor. Elaine's boyfriend, James L. Sanders, 18, was charged with second-degree murder after her body was discovered in his grandfather's back yard. Investigators suspect Sanders killed her because he believed she was pregnant with his child.

In a Los Angeles courtroom on Thursday, a former police detective testified in the Robert Blake murder trial that the actor planned to kill his wife, Bonny Lee Bakley, if he couldn't force her to have an abortion.

The victims' differences don't surprise Kae Friesen of the Snohomish County Center for Battered Women. She's seen violence at every age and in all social and economic levels.

"In the United States, women have a 50-50 chance in a lifetime of getting into an abusive, violent relationship. That has stayed steady in our training for at least a decade," said Friesen, the center's development associate and volunteer coordinator.

In Snohomish County, 1,252 petitions for domestic violence protection orders were filed in 2004, said Sonya Kraski, court services manager with the Snohomish County Clerk's Office.

The Center for Battered Women runs a 15-bed emergency shelter in Everett where women and children can stay for up to 30 days. There are also 20 transitional housing units. In 2003, the shelter served 352 people, and turned away 377.

The nonprofit agency offers shelter, counseling and legal advocacy, "but as an organization, we don't ever tell a person to leave," Friesen said.

"The average number of times a woman leaves an abuse situation is seven to eight," she said. "There are a lot of reasons they won't leave, and fear is the biggest one."

Sadly, there's good reason for that fear.

Friesen said about 75 percent of violent crimes committed against women in domestic situations happen right after they leave "or during the leaving."

Police in Washington operate under a mandatory arrest law in domestic violence cases, but the center does not. It helps women with legal advocacy and safety plans.

Pregnancy, Friesen said, "is the second most likely time violent crime will happen." Either there is anger about the pregnancy, or it is used to control a woman, she said. Control, she stressed, is at the heart of domestic abuse.

"Whatever they do to assume complete power and control is abusive, because the other person has lost human rights," she said. "It can be intimidation, isolation, sexual abuse. It can be blaming - 'If only you had fixed the eggs right, I wouldn't have to do this' - It can be economic abuse."

At any age, the intensity of love can mask warning signs. Once in an abusive relationship, it's dangerous to try and get out.

How can young people stay out of danger in the first place? Love may seem a risky roll of the dice, but there are red flags.

"If your partner has an unknown past or only speaks vaguely about his past, and if they are very possessive or jealous, those are big red flags," Friesen said. "Also, if they make negative comments about women and women's bodies.

"Can you have your own friends? Can you call whoever you want and talk to your family without feeling afraid that you might get caught?

"And if they're in a hurry to move the relationship along, they want to get married next week, watch out. That gives them power and control," she said.

Counselors and volunteers at the center have a basic question for those facing hard decisions: "Do you feel safe in this relationship?"

If the answer is no, I don't see how it can be love.

Do you feel safe in this relationship?

Answer no, and it's heartbreak.

Date of RADAR Release: February 6, 2005

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R.A.D.A.R. – Respecting Accuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting – is a non-profit, non-partisan organization of men and women working to improve the effectiveness of our nation's approach to solving domestic violence. http://www.mediaradar.org